Tomorrow

Is the first day of school. Though at year three I'm not as nervous, I still get a little nervous in front of the kids. I want them to like me, I want to like them. I want them to listen to me, respect me, and I want to do the same for them. I don't know what it is yet that makes those special teachers special. I know for me, I most remember the ones who were knowledgeable, kind, and funny. I hope to be the same!

*Updated* Lies I Want To Be True...

1. Buying clothes a size bigger will make me look smaller.

2. He asked for my number because he likes me, not because he was being nice.

*3. I adapt to change well.*

*4. I know exactly what I am doing.*

Nada...

Did you ever write out a whole blog post and then decide it's crap? I think I do this about three times per blog post..or however you would say that. I had a recent run in with a lizard in my apartment, and my friend told me that I should write a story about a girl who is afraid of lizards and what not...so I did. I wrote a blog post about my lizard story. Crap. It was crap. Not that this is much better. I guess I just keep waiting on my story. I don't know what it will be yet, but I want so desperately to find it and begin on it. Sometimes I think the story could be me. But what's exciting about a single mid-twenties girl who has a fairly uneventful social life and zero romantic life?? Not much, I would think. So I'll keep posting and eventually, hopefully, I will find my story. And then, I will get published!! And then, I will have book signings in wonderful places like New York and London!! And I'll get to stay in fancy hotels and order ridiculously overpriced room service!! And then I'll finally have the money to buy that yacht I always wanted! And there I'll be on my yacht in the Mediterranean waving to Beyonce and Jay Z in the yacht next door...ahh...the life!!

...I'm SUCH a dreamer!

Taking It Back to the Old School

I think it's funny that I still have the following school girl gossip conversations with friends (paraphrased, of course):

Me: So did she say anything about me?
Friend: No, just that you were nice...
Me: Yeah, right. Did you say anything about him?
Friend: Just that I knew him, I asked if he was still in town.
Me: Did she mention anything about me and him, like say that I was the one who was hopelessly flirting with him last time?
Friend: False.
Me: Or that I was an idiot to think he'd like me back?
Friend: False.
Me: So basically you're telling me that you didn't find any good information out?
Friend: Um, yeah.
Me: Thanks...

Of course the funniest part of this is that it IS a bit like middle school. And if I remember right, middle school wasn't exactly my finest moment. I definitely had one particular crush who TO THIS DAY I have not lived down. Though I was over him by high school, people ALWAYS liked to bring him up to me...

Sample conversation in high school 11th grade math class (which he was in):
Boy: Hey remember in 8th grade when you liked _____?
Me: (face turning red) Uh, yeah, thanks.

Even now it still gets brought up...and I'm not sure why that is...

Is it because while on yearbook staff I wrote "Hannah loves _____" on one of the pages in our school yearbook that was PUBLISHED and handed out to the ENTIRE school?
Maybe.

Is it because I continually professed my "love" for him through written letters and poetry?
It's possible.

Or is it because that particular year completely screwed me up and I haven't acted the same around boys since, which might be a good thing (see "poetry" mention above)?
Could be, could be.

Well, look at the bright side...at least now, MANY years later, I can laugh at myself, I have funny stories to tell my kids (should I ever get married and have any), and I can thank the Lord above that I did not end up with him (surprised to hear that, I'm sure).

Though sometimes (ok, ALL the time) I do wish the Lord would have stopped me before that yearbook note got published...and maybe before the poetry...yes...yes, definitely before the poetry....